Uh... "Huh?"
My daughter... again, "How many men have YOU slept with?"
I'm sorry... "WHAT?"
Internal monologue:
WHAT IN THE FUCK is she ASKING me this for? And WHAT is the RIGHT answer??? WHAT??
Daughter, laughing a bit and a little irritated at my non-answer, sitting next to her younger girlfriend..."Well, what is it... like 5?"
Internal monologue:
5?? Is 5 a good number or a bad number. Let me see, uh, there was... uh... Oh my God. I would have NEVER asked my mother this question. And definitely NEVER in front of one of my friends (I would have told my friends later what she said...). And how many men DID my mom sleep with? Is it genetic? I mean, the predisposition to sleeping with a certain number of men? Think, think, think...
Daughter's friend, "Yeah, how many men have you slept with?"
"Well, how many men has your mom slept with?"
Internal monologue:
Whew... get the focus off me for a bit...
Daughter's friend, "I don't know. I would never ask her, but I would like to know how many you have
slept with."
"Well, I'm not going to answer the question. I am not comfortable sharing that information with you."
Daughter, "So you've had a one night stand?"
Internal monologue:
...................................................................................
Just walk away...
Friday, April 20, 2012
Thursday, April 19, 2012
It's an adventure...
There are so many ways to experience life as an adventure. I just didn't realize until today that one of those ways is through financial insecurity.
Let me paint the picture for you...
It's Monday, you get paid every two weeks and you have to make it to Friday - payday. Five days. No problem...right?
Ok, ok...So, it's Monday and you have SOME money available in your checking account, but your credit card is completely useless because the limit is low and well, it's at the limit. You need to fill up your gas tank with cash from your checking account. You could live for the next five days on the groceries you have in the house, but the kids will have you arrested for starving them if you do not buy more food before Friday. More money out of the checking account. You wrote a check two weeks ago that you forgot about and this is the week that it finally hits your account. You use your Target debit card which is attached to your checking account and forget that it takes a couple of days to post to your account, so you THINK you actually have more money available than you do.
In an effort to be proactive, you take a good look at your budget, you account for all of these outstanding debts that will most likely hit your account before Friday and prepare yourself to have a checking account balance very close to zero before all is "said and done".
And then, looking forward, you decide to schedule payments on your credit card and other bills in advance so that they will be taken care of once you get paid and there is money in your account to cover them. When Friday comes, Ahhh.... you can breathe and know that you have money available, bills will be paid. YES! Life is good - a little stressful until then, but yes, life is good...
AND THEN...on Tuesday...you get a text that the VERY LARGE payment you THOUGHT you scheduled for Friday (payday, remember?) for your credit card has been posted to your account... GASP!!! choke... Holy F...FUCK!
NOW is the time that you THANK GOD that you've treated your family and friends fairly well, because they are the ONLY WAY you will get out of this situation ALIVE (or, at least without a bunch of overdraft charges and returned check fees - not to mention being arrested because you haven't yet bought those groceries for your starving children).
Thursday. Only one day before payday. The final stretch of the longest week of your life... The day before you can pay back Peter for covering for your paying Paul too early... BUT...it's also the day that you need to go pick up that rental car you reserved. The rental car that requires a deposit on your credit card in order to be picked up. A deposit amount that is $7 more than the credit available on your credit card (even with the SUPER HUGE payment that you made with Peter's money). What do you do now? Well, cross your fingers... say a prayer... talk to friends... call the credit card company...be prepared to tell your entire financial fiasco of a week to the car rental place and hope that they will pity you enough to give you the car even if you can't come up with the full deposit.
Yes, yes... I use the word "you" above, but it's me. This is my week. Not an example of a fictitious "you" week... This is my terrible, terrible way of screwing myself up in just a matter of a few days (and, mind you, the second time I've had a problem with being prepared for a rental car deposit). BUT it made me realize that... IT'S AN ADVENTURE. And there were many people involved. There was connection. There was excitement. There was understanding and care and forgiveness and empathy and sympathy. I was supported. I was not alone. And after getting the rental car, there was relief and happiness - and not just mine. I was joined.
So, it's an adventure and an experience I will not forget. I love adventures. I wouldn't have asked for this one, but I can honestly say that this one turned out wonderfully and all of the players, from family & friends to the credit card representative and rental car counter clerk, were just wonderful.
Thanks for being a part of my adventure.
I CANNOT wait until tomorrow. Whew!... (Friday - payday - remember?)
Let me paint the picture for you...
It's Monday, you get paid every two weeks and you have to make it to Friday - payday. Five days. No problem...right?
Ok, ok...So, it's Monday and you have SOME money available in your checking account, but your credit card is completely useless because the limit is low and well, it's at the limit. You need to fill up your gas tank with cash from your checking account. You could live for the next five days on the groceries you have in the house, but the kids will have you arrested for starving them if you do not buy more food before Friday. More money out of the checking account. You wrote a check two weeks ago that you forgot about and this is the week that it finally hits your account. You use your Target debit card which is attached to your checking account and forget that it takes a couple of days to post to your account, so you THINK you actually have more money available than you do.
In an effort to be proactive, you take a good look at your budget, you account for all of these outstanding debts that will most likely hit your account before Friday and prepare yourself to have a checking account balance very close to zero before all is "said and done".
And then, looking forward, you decide to schedule payments on your credit card and other bills in advance so that they will be taken care of once you get paid and there is money in your account to cover them. When Friday comes, Ahhh.... you can breathe and know that you have money available, bills will be paid. YES! Life is good - a little stressful until then, but yes, life is good...
AND THEN...on Tuesday...you get a text that the VERY LARGE payment you THOUGHT you scheduled for Friday (payday, remember?) for your credit card has been posted to your account... GASP!!! choke... Holy F...FUCK!
NOW is the time that you THANK GOD that you've treated your family and friends fairly well, because they are the ONLY WAY you will get out of this situation ALIVE (or, at least without a bunch of overdraft charges and returned check fees - not to mention being arrested because you haven't yet bought those groceries for your starving children).
Thursday. Only one day before payday. The final stretch of the longest week of your life... The day before you can pay back Peter for covering for your paying Paul too early... BUT...it's also the day that you need to go pick up that rental car you reserved. The rental car that requires a deposit on your credit card in order to be picked up. A deposit amount that is $7 more than the credit available on your credit card (even with the SUPER HUGE payment that you made with Peter's money). What do you do now? Well, cross your fingers... say a prayer... talk to friends... call the credit card company...be prepared to tell your entire financial fiasco of a week to the car rental place and hope that they will pity you enough to give you the car even if you can't come up with the full deposit.
Yes, yes... I use the word "you" above, but it's me. This is my week. Not an example of a fictitious "you" week... This is my terrible, terrible way of screwing myself up in just a matter of a few days (and, mind you, the second time I've had a problem with being prepared for a rental car deposit). BUT it made me realize that... IT'S AN ADVENTURE. And there were many people involved. There was connection. There was excitement. There was understanding and care and forgiveness and empathy and sympathy. I was supported. I was not alone. And after getting the rental car, there was relief and happiness - and not just mine. I was joined.
So, it's an adventure and an experience I will not forget. I love adventures. I wouldn't have asked for this one, but I can honestly say that this one turned out wonderfully and all of the players, from family & friends to the credit card representative and rental car counter clerk, were just wonderful.
Thanks for being a part of my adventure.
I CANNOT wait until tomorrow. Whew!... (Friday - payday - remember?)
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
You SHOULD want more
It's a common theme as you get older. The thoughts that what you've done up to this point hasn't been enough.
"I'm 30 and I still haven't..."
"I'm 40 and I can't believe I didn't know this before..."
"I'll be 50 before I accomplish this goal..."
"Why didn't I know, do, achieve, get "this" so many years ago?"
I was having these thoughts recently and BAM! something wonderful occurred to me! I should want more. I look forward to still learning when I'm 45, 50, 60, 65, 77... whatever age I am, I hope to still want more. Why haven't I already done it? Because I haven't. Will I accomplish it? Well, we'll just see, won't we?
And what if I DON'T accomplish "IT"?? What then? NOW, I'm older and still in the same place... or am I? I mean...Really? Whatever it is - starting your own business, getting in shape, getting married, getting divorced, working on your relationship(s)...if you don't accomplish exactly what you set out to, take a look at what you did do by just trying.
I look forward to, every year, striving for more. Trying for better... not settling, not accepting the thought that "I'm too old now" or "It's too late"...Yeah, I like that...Life is good...How old am I? hehe...
"I'm 30 and I still haven't..."
"I'm 40 and I can't believe I didn't know this before..."
"I'll be 50 before I accomplish this goal..."
"Why didn't I know, do, achieve, get "this" so many years ago?"
I was having these thoughts recently and BAM! something wonderful occurred to me! I should want more. I look forward to still learning when I'm 45, 50, 60, 65, 77... whatever age I am, I hope to still want more. Why haven't I already done it? Because I haven't. Will I accomplish it? Well, we'll just see, won't we?
And what if I DON'T accomplish "IT"?? What then? NOW, I'm older and still in the same place... or am I? I mean...Really? Whatever it is - starting your own business, getting in shape, getting married, getting divorced, working on your relationship(s)...if you don't accomplish exactly what you set out to, take a look at what you did do by just trying.
I look forward to, every year, striving for more. Trying for better... not settling, not accepting the thought that "I'm too old now" or "It's too late"...Yeah, I like that...Life is good...How old am I? hehe...
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