It's not all about you

Sometimes, things bother me.  Sometimes when things bother me, I don't reach out to others.  I sit with my problems quietly. I get sad. I withdraw.

And then, sometimes, as a result, others withdraw from me.  They don't know how to deal with my "sad" or they personalize my actions and think that my withdrawal is a sign that I am harboring resentment or anger toward them.

Here's what I have to say about that, "It's just not all about you."  I can say it because I've been there - on both sides.

When someone withdraws, it's a sign that something is wrong.  You may or may not be part of the "something that is wrong", but there's no need to assume that you are.  There's no need to get angry or resentful in response to someone's actions, when the reason for their actions is unclear.

A great way to care for a person is to ask them, "what's wrong?"  Find out what is really going on.  Open your heart and your mind and give your spouse, friend, coworker some space to express themselves.  Don't be afraid to help someone that is hurting just because you think they might say something about how you played a part in it. 

Let go of the fear.  Make it about them.

It's NOT all about you.  And that's a good thing.