I remember

I remember being a young girl and walking down my street with my friend, holding hands the whole time.  I have no idea how old I was, but I remember that we would always hold hands when we were walking together.  It wasn't just one friend, although I don't have many specific memories, but I remember holding hands with friends was just something that we did.  I also remember when it stopped.

One day, I was walking with one of my friends, who was a year older than me, across the street from my house.  We were close to the corner house on the opposite side of the street.  I remember exactly where we were.  I reached for her hand and she pushed my hand away.  I didn't understand.  I looked at her and she said something like "we don't do that". 

It had happened.  She had become aware of how holding hands looked to other people and it made her uncomfortable.  She didn't want to hold my hand anymore.  I felt sad, but somehow I understood.  I never reached for a friend's hand after that.

Fast forward to present day... I'm almost 41 now and I'm holding hands with friends again.  Who the fuck cares what other people think.  It's sad to think of what we give up as we are growing up because of all the fears of what others think, how others judge...  but it's never too late.  Hug a friend today.  Hold someone's hand and walk in public.  Life's too short.