Could I get my ears pierced?

It sounds like a simple enough question. The answer should be simple too.  It's either "yes" or "no", right?

Perhaps it is just in my nature to make things more complex than they really are (or need to be), but having this question come from my son, not my daughter, made my ability to answer simply...very difficult.

If my daughter asked to get her ears pierced at age 12 (which is probably the age that she DID get her ears pierced), I wouldn't think much about it before saying "yes".  In fact, I did say "yes".  My only concern was whether or not she had the maturity to take care of her ears properly so they didn't get infected.

Several thoughts went through my head after my son asked to get his ears pierced and not one of them had to do with his ability to take care of his ears properly.  My first thought was, "Oh my God, you're dad would kill me if I say yes..." My inclination was to say "no" because he's 12 and he's a boy.  Gasp!  I wanted to say no just because he's a boy!  Is that wrong?  Am I sexist?  What does that say about me?  How do I tell him that if he was a girl, he could get the earrings.  Ack!  This is not good.  So, I had to buy some time.  I told him that I would get back to him on it.

I thought about it some more.  I remembered one of my daughter's little friends, at about age 11 or 12, coming over to our house with both of his ears pierced. I remember thinking, "that's interesting."  My daughter told me about his home life.  His parents were un-involved, he had an older brother that did what he wanted, and he was often home alone.  Hmmm... AND he has his EARS PIERCED.  Hmmmm....

I mentioned it to my daughter. I asked her what she thought of boys with their ears pierced and what she thought of that boy at that time.  She said that she knows several 16 year old boys with their ears pierced and she thinks it looks great.  She said that she thought boys who had their ears pierced when she was 12 (and they were 12) were a bit "scary".  They were "bad" boys.  Bad boys are great when you are 16,  but scary when you're 12 (yes, coming from my 16 year old daughter...).

So, maybe my reasoning isn't perfect, but I've decided to NOT let my son get his ears pierced for now.  I explained to him that I support his individuality and his style, but that he's too young to get piercings.  I explained that I DO look at it differently than I did with his sister, because other people look at it differently.  Many 12 year old girls have their ears pierced.  NOT so many 12 year old boys have their ears pierced.  Is this a good enough reason to say "no"? I believe it is.

It's an interesting thing to ponder.  I don't want my children to limit how they express themselves because of what other people think, but sometimes it's good to take into consideration how you appear to the world.  Truly, my son with or without earrings, makes no difference.  The earrings don't change who he is, what family he comes from or how he behaves.  But... he's 12 and he's beautiful, strong, friendly and so so sweet.  I'd rather have someone notice all of those things.  Save the earrings for later...