It seems like an obvious statement. But, as we all know, when faced with an asshole, sometimes we forget that what comes out of their mouth is the same as what comes out of a dog's butt. It should be removed from the lawn (by the owner), put in a bag and thrown in the trash - never to be seen (or smelled) again.
I'm sorry, what did you say? Come over here next to the toilet so I can make sure that it drops from your mouth, into the porcelain bowl, and I'll flush it and send it to where it belongs - along with the rest of the crap that gets deposited into this toilet.
Sometimes, assholes are tricky. They type out their words and send them via email. They're so full of shit it just seeps through their pores. They have to get it out any way they can. It'd be nice to have an email auto-response, "Sorry asshole, this email doesn't accept your shit." Yeah, that'd be cool.
I have this friend who deals with an asshole on a regular basis. Now, this isn't just some guy that occasionally acts like an asshole. He's a full-blown ass (rather be an asshole than a full ass! He's both).
I type this post in her honor and for all the friends who must deal with the asshole, the crap, and the flies that hang around as a result. Just a friendly reminder to only give the asshole the attention an asshole would need. Think toilet, toilet paper, fly spray... bidet (on a good day)... hemorrhoid cream. Other than that, the asshole doesn't deserve anything else from you. Eventually, he might wonder why everyone, like Pavlov's dog, immediately has to use the restroom when he enters the room. Or not. Because, well... he's an asshole.
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