100 days sober

100 days without a drink.  Have I wanted a drink?  Yes.  Has it been difficult not to drink?  Not really - on occasion - but, not really.  Do I envision having my first drink after this long period of abstinence from alcohol?  Hmmm.... you know, I sometimes think about going out for a drink with friends and then I think how cool it is that I haven't been drinking.  I've gone to parties, gone out to dinner, went on vacation and did just fine.  Just call me the designated driver.  I'm not really certain that I'll be taking that next drink.  I'm definitely not planning on it.

I must say, this "no drinking" thing has actually been inspirational to me.  I've inspired myself!  I started thinking about other things I could do that would improve my health, well-being, state-of-mind, etc.  I'm in the planning stages of cutting caffeine out of my diet.  Planning stages, mind you... I may not be an alcoholic, but coffeeholic - I am.  There's just no denying it.  I'm also in the planning stages of incorporating cross-training into my fitness routine.  A big step.  I love running, but other types of exercise can be a chore for me.  Funny, how that is...

Being sober has really opened my eyes and my mind to so many things around me.  Maybe this seems strange, because I wasn't a heavy drinker to begin with.  I wasn't drunk every night.  I didn't drink every night.  There's just something about making the decision to do it differently.  Coming home after a day at work with frazzled nerves and more chaos at home and choosing not to "relax" with a drink, makes a huge difference.  The difference is that you actually have to think about what's going on around you, think about how you react to it, what your plan is to keep yourself positive and caring for the people (family) around you.  And the more you think about it, the more you walk through it, the more you learn about yourself.  Your eyes get opened.  You get inspired.  Well, that's how it happened (is happening) for me.

100 days sober on Independence Day.  Pretty cool...

My butt hangeth

There was this picture of me running.  It was taken just a few months ago.  It was a good picture as far as running pictures go, but there was this thing with my butt.  It seemed that part of it was a little too low...  And it was kind of flat at the bottom.  It was a side view.  I just decided that it was some weird thing about running and the picture was taken at this certain angle, so my butt just looked "funny".  Yep.  Weird picture.  Move on.

Well...I was at a hotel recently that had a full length mirror just outside the bathroom.  So, if you are in the bathroom standing in front of the sink and you look to the side, you can see your entire body from the side.  I was naked.  I looked pretty good (if I do say so myself), but there was this weird thing with my butt.  I was like, huh... I turned a little to the left, a little to the right and sure enough, in the right angle I could see that "my butt hangeth".  It hangeth lower than it used to.  It is, you know, a 40 year old butt.  Huh...

So, my butt hangeth.  How does that make me feel?  Strangely enough, it doesn't really bother me.  My butt is almost 41 years old.  Damn thing got tired.  I do believe that I can give it a bit of a "lift".  I've heard that lunges and squats are good for that.  Unfortunately, running doesn't do anything to stop your butt from sliding down the back of your thigh.

I've started my squat-lunge program... just one day so far, but hey, you gotta start somewhere...

Yep.  Shit happens as you get older.  And sometimes, it happens to your butt.

If I died today

I can honestly say, that if I died today, I would feel good about the time I spent here on earth.

I am in NO WAY ready to die, I have lots to do, places to go, children to mother, family and friends to love...BUT I feel like at least my eyes are open and I've been able to experience the truth and that feels amazing.  And most of it has happened just this year...

My relationships with friends have gone deeper, my understanding of myself is more thorough, my view of everything around me is more positive and my gratitude for all that I have and all that I have experienced is immense.

It's really hard to say to yourself, "I should be grateful for what I have because there are so many others that have so much less."  It's really hard to say it and feel it because each one of us has our own sets of challenges and problems that seem overwhelming.  My problems may be miniscule compared to someone elses, but they are mine and can sometimes block my view of the whole picture.

So, I hope to stay on this path of gratitude and truth.  I hope to grab as many moments as I can with people that I love.  I want to meet more people, make more friends, cry more, laugh more, love more, touch more... Feel the sun, dance in the rain...

I look forward to living each day so that I can continue to say, "If I died today.  It would be OK."  You can never predict the future, so making the most of the present is so important. 

I'm off to make the most of it!

Talk to a stranger

There's this woman who is always reading out in front of the office building where I work.  I see her almost every day when I come in for work or when I leave for lunch.  My first impression of her was, well, she's not my type.  She's not the type of person I would see myself being friends with, talking to on a regular basis, you know... not my type.

She's probably about 10 years older than me, very simple looking, not much make-up (if any) and she always wears her hair parted down the middle and pulled into a low ponytail in the back.  She is always wearing a shirt and slacks and flat, closed shoes.  Her hair is dark and wavy with some gray in it.  She walks around in front of the offices, reading and smoking... she doesn't look up and acknowledge anyone.  The only thing that really stands out about her appearance is her long red fingernails.

I said "Hi" to her today.  I asked her how many books she reads through in a week.

She smiled really big.  She excitedly talked about how the book she finished on Monday was a book that she started Sunday afternoon.  Her eyes are blue. They match the blue shirt she's wearing today.  They sparkle when she talks about the stories she has read.  She said that she chooses books more on the character than the author.  She mentioned them by name to me, as if she was introducing me to her close friends.  She mentioned many names of authors that have written series of books that she follows.  She talked about one series that she read ages ago that she plans to re-read.

She has a beautiful smile.  She's very interesting.  And I was such an idiot to have not said "hi" to her earlier.  Huh...and I've completely ignored her up until now just because "she's not my type".  What an idiot I am...

Whatever works...

It recently occured to me that the one thing that works for me in life is to "just do it".

When I started running, I started with two days per week.  Why?  Well, simply because it was more than one.  It wasn't too long before I was running four days per week.  Why?  Well, because when there was time available in the day, I would go for a run.  It wasn't planned. I didn't set a schedule.  I just did it.

Once I realized I had become  "a runner", I started to incorporate goals like 5k races, 10k races, half marathons and my first marathon.  I joined running groups for support.  I lost weight because of my running.  I cared more about my diet and the health of my body.  All because I "just did it."

I didn't think about the time it would take out of my day to include a run (some days  I didn't even know when I would run, I just knew I would), I didn't think about how much the shoes cost, the races cost, or how many years I would run.

It works for me.

If I think back to when I was in college, I remember taking classes because I wanted a degree.  I knew I wanted a degree.  I didn't think about the fact that I was working full-time (sometimes part-time) or that I couldn't really afford the tuition.  I just applied.  I took the classes.  I got my degree.  I never questioned whether or not I would get it.  It didn't happen in just four years.  Perhaps I could pick on myself and say, "well, you know, if you put some requirements on yourself, maybe you would have completed your degree in a shorter amount of time". 

But...why?  Why question what works?

I think it's an awesome thing to be able to look back on your life and see yourself and what you do successfully and see how you do it.  If you know how you've done it in the past, then you'll know how to achieve success in the future.

So, ask yourself... What works?

And "just do it."

20 Push-ups

I can do 20 push-ups at one time.  Perhaps I could do more, but I really slow down after 15, so I've kept it at 20.  There IS a reason why I'm sharing this...

I was thinking (a favorite pasttime) about how I needed to do my push-ups and how much I really hate doing them.  I hate the pain associated with them.  I have no idea how long it takes to do 20 (never timed it), but while I'm doing it it lasts FOREVER.  BUT I love how I feel after I do them.  I feel strong, accomplished, healthy, fit and happy. 

So, I realized that there are a lot of things that are hard to do, but I still do them.  I do them because of the positive effect they have in my life.  It's hard not to drink a beer with pizza (seriously...).  It's hard to hear constructive criticism (got some today...).  It's hard to tell my children "no" when I know that it will result in a lot of backlash (Yep, did that too...).

But I gotta tell ya... it's all so worth it.  Every time I do my 20 push-ups, I remember how nice it is to move forward in life.  The pain isn't so bad.  I think I'll try for 22 tonight... If I can do that, just imagine what else is possible...

I found my shorts

I found my shorts.  I was in my bedroom and I was... well, it's not important where I was or what I was doing.  After I was done, I looked in my sock drawer and found my shorts.  They've been missing for a couple of weeks.  THIS is significant.  I cannot tell you why, but I have deemed it a sign from God.  My shorts have returned.  It is time to celebrate.  How shall I celebrate, you ask?  Well, as they are my running shorts, I choose to run... with my shorts on. 

I have to tell you that today has been a difficult day.  My head has not been in the right place, my thoughts have been very negative and I still didn't know where my damn shorts were. But now I do.  God is great, God is good and I thank him for my ... shorts.

Thank you for sharing in my enthusiasm.  I know that great things are in store for me.  And now I'm ready.

I found my shorts.